Uber Gay but straight

Young man filing his nails in front of bathroom mirror, woman sitting on tub edge in background

 

Life can be so cruel. How does this even make sense?

He dresses like one of us, he talks like one of us, and he sure as hell is hot like one of us. But he is straight. Yeah, I know. What the fuck!

All these metro-sexual straight guys are wrecking my head.

You can see what’s happening can’t you? The boring straights have decided to steal our clothes. Well screw you! We are going to steal yours.

We’re going to wear badly fitted cheap clothes.

Smell of cheap aftershave.

Get a five euro hair cut.

Start drinking Stella.

Yeah, that will show you.

Who am I kidding, there is no way that is going to happen. Our inner gayness will just come through. Trying to do ‘straight’, but we will just end up fabulously ‘hobo chic’.

I guess there is an upside, the world will look a whole lot more beautiful, and smell less of BO.

Thank god for small mercies.

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