My friend Francis is obsessed with country gays.
Sadly, I’m not talking gay cowboys.
Its way more fruity than that.
He has a real fetish for ‘culchie’ GAA types.
Just the thought of those freckled red heads is enough to make him hard.
Personally I don’t get it.
In part because I don’t understand a word that they say.
Of course I’m just a West Brit to them.
We are the two opposites of the Irish spectrum.
How Francis understands them is totally beyond me.
The boy was boarded in Scotland by his father.
No doubt to save his ass from excitable priests as a child.
But he is as alien to them as I am.
But for some reason they love him.
He has this mild Scottish twang.
Very unusual for an Irishman.
I’m sure he is quite exotic to them.
And like all Irishmen, he is a total gob-shite.
It just goes to show, that’s it’s not what you say, but how you say it.
When it comes to seducing country gays that is.
What a waste.
I’ve spent an age thinking up funny, sexy chat up lines.
All I really should have done is laid on the twee patois
Do chat up lines work on you?
Available to buy now:
CONFESSIONS OF A GAY RUGBY PLAYER 3
CONFESSIONS OF A GAY RUGBY PLAYER 2
CONFESSIONS OF A GAY RUGBY PLAYER 1