Sometimes not even I can believe how stupid I am.
Why do I let myself get talked into these things?
You owe a friend a favour, he calls it in.
What’s the worst?
A fecking double date!
Who in this day and age does double dates?
We are not Americans!
Life is not a movie.
The things I will do for friendship.
I can’t actually get my head around it.
Why would you want to go on a double date?
Let me just make one thing clear: date equals foreplay.
I ‘date’ guys I want to fuck.
So why have another couple there cramping your style?
No, not with a real friend.
That would be rather odd.
There is more to this.
There must be.
I’m there to serve a purpose.
I’m hot but I’m not a himbo.
There are other considerations.
What if my date is a minger?
I really can’t tolerate ugly people.
An evening with a ugly retard.
Kill me now.
What if he is a culchie?
Or plays GAA?
What if he’s ginger?
I’m getting carried away.
He could be a filthy auld ruide!
Let’s hope so!