You know there is a difference, right?
I mean you would never confuse one for the other.
Men always fall into one camp.
You can’t be in both.
There are guys you have dirty sex with.
And then there are guys you settle down with.
Could you imagine trying to settle down with a shag?
It would be a disaster waiting to happen.
One minute you are having drug fuelled orgies the next you are playing happy families?
You’ve watched each other get spit roasted, and now you have to be ‘together’.
Just the two of you…….
Keepers need to be boring, dependable.
They need to be…..suburban.
Kill me now.
Do it, do it quickly.
Before I change my mind!
How do I see myself?
Am I a shag or a keeper?
Well I’m charming.
I can bake.
I went to public school.
And mammy makes jam.
I’m a total keeper!
I might try and shag your brother.
I have an addiction to GRINDR.
And my black book is my bible.
I even grade everyone 1-10.
Of course you do.
I’m destined to be alone.
Mad auld uncle Pat.
Drinks too much and pinches young men’s bottoms.
I’m cool with that.
I’ll get old, rich and pay for high class rent!