Fuck me friday: Internet dating

chavsThe internet really can be deceiving.

You see a hot ass on GRINDR and think yeah, I could tap that.

You connect, make a few pleasantries:

Wanna fuck?

You hung?

Take a look.

My place 30 minutes?



I should have realised something was up.

He lived in social housing.

OK, so no A-lister.

But hey, I’m not classist.


Getting out of the lift and the smell of pot hits me.

I must mention it to him.

Your hall smells of pot dude!

No need to bother.

It smells of pot because of him.


He is a complete and utter chav.

And he lives in a pig sty.

We have a cat roaming about and a parrot.

A fecking parrot!

In a million years he would not be my type.


How awkward.

I’m going to have to tell him that this is not going to work.

But then.

Something happened.

I’m not sure what.

A stirring.

A need.

I’m going to fuck you like the cheap hole you are.


Normally I’m such a giving lover.

Generous to a fault.

I make it my mission to rock your world.

But today?

No. I was going to use him.


He wanted to kiss.

Gentle, romantic.

How irritating.

So I choked him and pinned him down as my tongue entered his mouth.

The taste and smell of pot really does nothing for me.

Not usually.

But for once it made me really horny.

In a ‘I will put some manners on you’ kind of way.


I had to teach him.

Not sure what I was teaching him, but I learned him good.


Gag on my cock. Check

Choke while making eye contact. Check

Reciprocation. None

Fuck: ankles as earrings & doggy. Check.

Fuck hard and mercilessly. Check.

Blow load in mouth. Check.


The entire encounter took no more than forty minutes.

A real wham, bam, thank you man.

I was dressed in a flash and out of there.

Did I still have my wallet and phone? Check.


The moral of the story?

None, I’m just saying, that’s all.

5 thoughts on “Fuck me friday: Internet dating

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